EMOTIONS

(c) 2000 William R. Cunningham
June 4, 2000

INTRODUCTION

Those that know me personally know that I am not an outwardly emotional person. I don’t show much emotion regardless of what happens around me. It’s not necessarily because of the "men don’t cry" syndrome; rather it is due to other aspects that I will discuss in this article. I’ve often asked myself why I don’t express the way that I feel and to make matters worse, I usually don’t understand why people feel certain ways based on their outward expressions. I remember when my wife’s father died some years ago. I recall sitting on the side of the bed with her and all of a sudden she started to cry profusely. I honestly couldn’t relate to the reason for her crying. Of course it was her father that passed. I hadn’t lost my father so I really couldn’t relate. Even when my grandmother died, whom I loved as a child, I didn’t get emotional though the loss was a great one. Perhaps I was too young to understand. I was only about 12 or 13 years old. Actually I am extremely emotional or at least as emotion as anyone else. However, I rarely reveal how I feel. What are these emotions that I have and what am I supposed to do with them? Does God feel? Does God have emotions?

Emotions play a very important part in everyone’s lives. They can be the cause of a really stupid gesture or the underlying cause for an act of bravery. Emotions cause pain, disappointment, and general trouble sometimes. However, on other occasions our emotions are the seat of joy and happiness because we feel good. Again, what are we supposed to do with emotions? Is it something that we can do without? Emotions are the reason why some fight so much or why some are misunderstood. If I don’t respond a certain way emotionally then I am labeled as insensitive when all along I am touched emotionally just as much as the other person—I just don’t express it the way they do. How many people can relate to that scenario?

This article will deal with emotions from a Christian perspective, though the principles that I will discuss can be applied to many areas. I hope that after reading this article that you will have a better understanding of how emotions affect our lives and possibly help that person that you have labeled as insensitive. I hope to shine some light on the topic of emotions so that you can become more edified in your daily walk. You must know your enemy in order to defeat the enemy. That principle can be applied here in that in order to control your emotional responses then you must understand the emotional you.

EMOTIONS DEFINED

What are emotions and how do they factor into our everyday lives? Emotion is the "feeling" or "affective" component of human behavior, where feeling describes and internal subjective state. It is a subjective response to stimulation. Emotions are subjective because the response and perception of the stimulus is different for every individual. Emotions are psychic and physical reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling and physiologically involving changes that prepare the body for immediate vigorous action.

Emotion can be described as:

1. An intense mental state that arises subjectively rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a strong feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and love.

   A state of mental agitation or disturbance: spoke unsteadily in a voice that betrayed his emotion.

2. The part of the consciousness that involves feeling; sensibility: "The very essence of literature is the war between emotion and intellect" (Isaac Bashevis Singer).

In short, emotions are simply subjective feelings brought on by stimulation.

Dimensions of Emotion

There are at least two major dimensions of emotion. They are:

1. Intensity

2. Qualitative

An example of the idea of the intensity of an emotion would be the transition from annoyance to hatred. Annoyance is a less intensive emotion then hate. Love is a more intense emotion then to like. The qualitative dimension of emotion is the pleasant or unpleasant classification of an emotion. For example, pain (as in having your feelings hurt) is considered an unpleasant emotion, whereas happiness is considered a pleasant emotion.

Another very important thing to consider about emotions is that they are subjective. For example, something that induces a very intense emotion in one person may be insignificant to another.

EXPLANATION OF EMOTION

There are at least two historical explanations for emotions, that is, why we feel a certain way given a certain stimulus. The two explanations are the James-Lange model and the Cannon-Bard model.

James-Lange Model

This model basically stipulates that emotions derive from physiological changes of the body. For example, a stimulus causes the body to undergo certain physiological changes such as increased heart rate or perspiration. The individual perceives these changes and attributes a certain emotional state to it. So the awareness of physiological changes leads to an emotional state.

Cannon-Bard Model

This model stipulates that the physiological changes of the body and the development of an emotional state are independent and happen simultaneously when presented with stimulation. So if you see a large dog for example, then you will experience physiological changes and at the same time experience fear (if you associate large dogs with fear). So the emotional state in this model is directly proportionate to the stimulation and not the bodily changes.

Motivation

Emotions play a major role in our lives. As a matter of fact, emotions are very closely tied to motivation. The qualitative dimension of emotions in many instances motivates us in one direction. For example, we might be motivated to do something because it will bring us to a state of positive or pleasant emotions. Likewise we might do something else in an effort to avoid unpleasant emotions. We intrinsically classify certain actions with the resulting emotion so we tend to do those things that will bring about pleasant emotions and we tend to avoid those activities that will bring us unpleasant emotions.

The degree of motivation is directly proportionate to the expected emotional intensity. We will be much more motivated to do something as opposed to another option if the former will bring about a more intense emotion, either pleasant or unpleasant (avoidance). In the Christian community and in particular in movements such as the word of faith movement, you might find that people seem to be motivated by emotions. This applies to other areas as well. For example, the play on emotions seemed to be a very important aspect to the Amway meetings. It was the rule of the day to pump the people up so that they would perform. There were even "pump up" sessions (as I call them) to get the new people excited and therefore perform. If their performance could be linked to the emotional high then chances are they would go out and do all they can to accomplish their goals, which were based on emotions.

We have to therefore consider the cause of our motivation. Consider the following scripture.

James 4:2 through James 4:3 (NKJV) ²You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. ³You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Here is an application of the motivation/emotion relationship. James said that the reason that you don’t receive when you do ask for something from God is because you ask with the wrong motives so that you can fulfill your pleasures. Your asking is not done to edify but merely to obtain pleasure. Now obtaining pleasures in life is not evil but if it is the motivating force in your life then it will lead you to destruction (no treasures in heaven).

Expression

A significant component of emotion is expression. Expression is simply the way that our emotions are displayed or the way they are manifested externally. For example, sadness may be expressed as crying or depression. Hollering or punching something might express anger. There is no particular gesture for a given emotion. For example, crying may indicate sadness or it could indicate joy. Hollering or punching something might indicate anger or it might indicate excitement.

Many emotional expressions are learned and culturally specific. For example, applause in North America indicates approval but the opposite is true in certain European countries. Clapping the hands to some Chinese indicates anxiety or disappointment.

Emotional expression is also specific to the individual. Some people express fear differently then others for example. This is why it is important to understand the gestures of an individual before you respond to them (judge them). A person that keeps silent during a family tragedy might be perceived as insensitive when all along he or she is in such deep sorrow and their method of expressing that sorrow is silence. See my study on understanding for more information about that.

You must keep in mind that emotions and their corresponding expressions are very complex. The study of emotion is also complicated by the fact that it is primarily subjective. Each individual defines emotions. What is happiness for one person may not be for someone else. What excites one person may terrify another (roller coasters for example). Therefore, it is important to learn and understand what the gestures of people that you have relationships with mean. When is your husband getting angry for example or when is he happy? Knowing his gestures will help you identify the way he feels even if he doesn’t know how to tell you.

Control

Experiments seem to indicate that we have control over our emotional reactions. Reactions to emotion or stimulus are a very complex process. However, it appears that much of the emotional control that we exercise is cognitive. Our emotional control can also take the form of pursuing those activities that will produce pleasant emotions and avoiding those that will produce unpleasant emotions. Drugs can also control emotions.

Real control of your reactions to stimulus takes practice and an awareness of the process. Sometimes this process may take the form of desensitization. That is, you expose yourself to the stimulus so much that after a while it doesn’t have the same affect. After a longer while you’ll find that you might not be affected by it at all. An example of this is the process that is sometimes called "face your fears." Being exposed to those things that scare you is believed to desensitize you to their affects. Enough exposure would result in you not being afraid of the stimulus anymore.

Dangers

Activities motivated solely by emotions are very dangerous. Emotions derive from stimulation, which could be external or internal. Reacting emotionally in the realm of decision-making may prove to be fatal in many instances. For example, deciding to purchase a house because of the way you feel (subjective) instead of established criteria that you want in a house might result in the purchase of a house that does not really meet your needs. Marrying someone because of infatuation may result in a disastrous marriage. Infatuation is temporal.

Emotions are not stable. They are affected by stimulation that can occur at any time, which means your emotional state could change at any time. What pleases you today may not please you tomorrow. However, if you made a decision on yesterday’s pleasure then you might be very disappointed (or in a lot of trouble) if you no longer have that same pleasure today. It goes without saying that commitments should not be based on emotion since emotions are so unstable. The rule of thumb I suppose is not to commit yourself based on an emotional state.

Affects

How do emotions affect us day to day? We have found that emotions are a major impetus for motivation. Therefore, the affects of emotions can be seen in some of the things that we pursue. In a typical sense, we cannot escape the power or affects of emotions because we simply do not know how. We are driven by our emotions because we have reckoned them to be a normal part of life. Emotions can wreak havoc on a relationship when the pleasure (pleasant emotion) doesn’t exist anymore. As a result of that, more problems occur because displeasure (unpleasant emotion) will motivate you to avoid that displeasure, which in this case originates from the relationship (or at least the other person).

In many cases emotions can be poison to us because of the way they might motivate us. We seek those things that will make us feel good knowing that the good feeling is only temporal and has no real meaning in life except for simple pleasure and enjoyment. So the thing that may poison us is also the thing that may give us relief (temporally).

The Marriage Example

In a marriage relationship, emotions are typically very high in the pleasure range—usually during the honeymoon phase at the beginning of the marriage. If these pleasure emotions become stale and replaced by unpleasant emotions then the marriage relationship could suffer. Either the husband or the wife will begin to associate his or her spouse with unpleasant emotions and will begin to avoid him or her. This will of course affect the relationship because a married couple should grow together instead of apart. This emotional change usually takes place during the disillusionment phase of the marriage. See my study on marriage for more information about this.

Another major problem in the marriage relationship pertaining to emotions is that love is usually associated with emotions. A good feeling about someone, usually a form of infatuation, is called love. Love is therefore lost if the infatuation (emotion) is lost. This is very unfortunate because true love is not based on emotion, though it might stimulate certain emotions. Love wasn’t lost. Only the pleasure associated with the spouse was lost. Should you pursue those pleasures with your spouse again or pursue a relationship that is independent of emotions? I suppose it all depends on your relationship with your spouse. You might have a married couple that simply clicks. They practice the art of togetherness by doing things together and always seem to enjoy each other. They are happy. However, a marriage devoid of happiness for at least one person may do well functionally if emotions are not considered important. Each will simply do their duty in the marriage such as cook, clean, take care of the finances, raise the children, etc. There is no enjoyment of each other because there is no longer pleasure associated with the marriage in general, especially the spouse.

So we see that a marriage relationship is very much affected by emotions. Though a marriage doesn’t depend on emotions to exist, we must admit that a marriage without any emotions would be strange. I believe that there should be some infatuation for each other. The wife should look at the husband and experience pleasant emotions and likewise the husband to the wife. A marriage devoid of this will be somewhat stale in my opinion and move to the state of functionality.

Sex Example

Sex is associated with great pleasure. It is a force that is so powerful that nations have been lost because of it. Families and relationships have been ruined because of the power of sex. However, the power is not in mere sex. Sex itself is a very primitive activity. All animals do it. The power of sex is really in the emotional motivation of sex. Sex drives people because of the great pleasure that is associated with it. They will even tolerate the relationship with an unpleasant wife for sexual activities with that same spouse. There are many marriages that are ruined and sex is still enjoyed according to my research. It may sound strange but that just shows you how powerful an emotional motivation can be.

We talked previously about he physiological changes to the body and how those changes are perceived. Many times sexual or sensual exploits are pursued not merely because of sex; rather they are pursued because of the stimulation and its corresponding affect on the body. In this case, sensuality becomes a drug necessary to reach a certain emotional state so that you can experience the physiological changes to the body. You become addicted to those changes because they are associated with great pleasure.

Religious Example

Emotions have a lot to do with many religious settings. Many church services rely on emotion to excite the people and in some cases suggest a certain response. For example, I have observed some church services where certain music is played in repetition and the preacher arouses the emotions of the congregation with great oratory skills. Next the people respond by "speaking in tongues", giving their money, or whatever else the preacher might want. The people don’t realize that they are compelled by their emotional state until later when they have thought about what they have done. Emotional reactions usually do not involve the thinking processes, which is why you can be led so easily via emotions.

Emotion is not a 1major force in the Christian faith. As a matter of fact you may find the opposite. If emotions were primary motivating factors then it is doubtful that the apostles would have continued preaching the Gospel because doing so was associated with pain and suffering in many cases. As a matter of fact, some of the apostles were martyred because of their faith and refusal to stop preaching the Gospel.

Jesus Christ demonstrated emotion but did not respond to it. Consider the following scripture.

Luke 22:43 through Luke 22:44 (NKJV) ⁴³Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. ⁴⁴And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Here Jesus was in agony (an emotional state) and yet he did not let that emotional state dictate his actions. He took control of his reactions and continued to do what God wanted him to do. This is a great example of how we can take control of our emotional reactions. Notice what Jesus did. He prayed even harder when be began to agonize. He sought God out the more because of the way he felt. Therefore, we should seek God more when we feel similarly emotional (good or bad).

Conclusion

Emotions are the subjective responses to stimulation. They are categorized in terms of intensity and qualitative. Emotions are a normal and very significant part of our lives though we do have some control (or more than we think) over how we respond to emotional stimulation. Emotions motivate us to pursue pleasure and avoid pain. Because of the motivating factor of emotions, they can be somewhat dangerous if the motivation takes us on a destructive road such as drugs or sex.

Emotions can bind relationships or be the cause of the breakup of a relationship. Every person expresses his or her emotional state in any number of ways. Even the same response may be associated with different and opposite emotions. Emotions affect us religiously, in relationships, and everyday life. It would behoove us to understand our emotions and learn to avoid making binding decisions based on them.