Knowing What to Pray

By Pastor William R. Cunningham
for Sunday August 14, 2005

Introduction

My wife recently became ill. She became bloated and began to experience discomfort and then pain. At first I began to pray for her that God would heal her and remove whatever is ailing her. However, as time past the idea of pregnancy entered the equation so to speak. It was believed by some that her symptoms were consistent with pregnancy. I continued to pray for her. However, one day I came home and began to pray for her, but couldn’t. I got to a point where I didn’t know what to pray. How could I pray for her healing if indeed she was pregnant? How could I pray in opposition to what was causing her symptoms when her symptoms were caused by pregnancy?

I also remember being laid off from work for almost two years. I didn’t know what to pray for. On one hand I was praying to God to get another job. On the other hand I was praying to God to build my business. There came a point where my business was growing and getting another job would interfere. Should I stop praying for another job and go full steam ahead with my business? What should I pray?

How do we know what to pray when a situation comes before us? Should we pray this or that? Should we pray for deliverance, healing, or perseverance? What if God is directly behind the challenge in front of you? How can we know what to pray?

This will be a discussion on knowing what to pray. I hope to share some insights with you that would help you in your prayer life. Ultimately I hope that you would gain insight that would help you in your Christian walk in general.

What is Prayer?

The word “pray” means to ask very earnestly; to make supplication, and to worship (honor, respect, adore, glorify, idolize). Prayer is the act of requesting and making supplication to God. We are going to refer to pray in this discussion as the act of asking God for something.

How to pray

There is no set standard as to how to pray except that it is from the heart. That means that we must pray honestly to God. There is no sense trying to fool God or impress God with your prayers. Consider the following Scriptures.

Matthew 6:5-8 (NKJV) -- {5}“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. {6}But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. {7}And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. {8}“Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.

Prayer is something between you and God. This means that prayer is personal and therefore should be honest. If you can’t be honest with yourself then how could you expect to receive from God because you surely are not being honest with Him.

Pray in faith

Here is something that I have learned over the years. We should pray in faith. That is, we should pray to God with confidence as if our prayers are answered and that we will have what we prayed for. Now the thing here is that in the end you may not get what you prayed for. You may pray to God for something, but never get it. You may have prayed for loved ones to be healed and yet they die? You may pray for others to get well and yet they go through the illness like anyone else perhaps even having to go to the hospital for some type of procedure.

I wholly believe in expecting God to do for you. I expect to have favor when I am trying to do something. I expect God grace and direction to operate in my life in regards to any situation. I may get overwhelmed sometimes because of the situation, but still deep down inside of me I know that God is able. Does the fact that God is able mean that He is willing? No it does not. Sometimes God simply does not want to do what you are asking Him to do. Sometimes He has something completely different planned for you, but you see this thing in front of you and you decide to go on.

Anyway, I find it very important to pray in faith. Why should we pray in faith and how do we know that we are praying in faith? Are you confident that God will do what you ask? I have a nice illustration to this concept of praying in faith. Remember how it was at Christmas time when you were a child. You would ask your parents for something and you just expected that they would get it for you. You were so excited and it was almost as if you wish Christmas would never come because the excitement would go away when it did come. You asked your parents in faith to give you such and such and you expected it (unless they said no from the beginning).

I think that we can be that way with God. We should expect to receive from Him, but at the same time we should be aware of Him while we walk so to speak. He may say no from the beginning and we should be in a position to hear it. Now the fact that we have confidence in God does not mean that we are guaranteed to get it from God. I’d rather believe that He would do it than believe that he won’t. I’d rather act on a “yes” from God then assume that he is not going to do it. I like to pray in the same way I used to ask my parents for toys for Christmas.

Watch and Pray

To pray in faith simply means to pray with confidence. In addition to believing that God will do what you pray for or grant you your request, you should also watch as well as pray. By watch I mean to be aware of what God is doing in your life and how He is directing you. Be aware of opportunities that may come that could fulfill your prayer request. Be ready to walk away from the thing that you so desperately want. If God is not directing you in such a direction then you should abandon that path.

Take note of how God has dealt with you in the past and how He interacts with you. God is not going to try to confuse you so you can have confidence in the fact that His way will be clear to you if you stop to be aware of Him. Always be observant to what happens in your life. God is directing your path so you should be aware of where you path is headed.

• Matthew 26:41 (NKJV) -- {41}Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
• Mark 13:33 (NKJV) -- {33}Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is.
• Mark 14:38 (NKJV) -- {38}Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
• Luke 21:36 (NKJV) -- {36}Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man.”
• Ephesians 6:18 (NKJV) -- {18}praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

There is an old saying that we should pray to God and forget about it. It was even said that we should only pray once about a particular thing as praying more than once indicated a lack of faith. The problem here is that we don’t see these ideas taught in the Bible (See Luke 18 for example). We should be observant while we are waiting for whatever it is we have prayed for. We should be sensitive to how situations change and opportunities that may come. We have no control over what happens in an absolute sense so we have to believe that God would open a door (present an opportunity) that would lead us closer to the answer of our prayer or the fulfillment of the request. We also have to be mindful of the fact that we may have to abandon the request if God is not leading us I that direction.

Realize Uncertainty

The fact is that we probably never know what to actually pray for. We don’t know what is going to happen a moment in time before now. We are uncertain as to the future at best. We are also uncertain of the outcome of things when we pray. This doesn’t mean that we are uncertain of God taking care of us. We are just uncertain as to what will actually happen when we pray. Again, there are probably things that you have been praying for and it never happens. Sometimes things don’t end up the way we would like. Consider the following situation from the Bible.

2 Samuel 12:15-23 (NKJV) -- {15}Then Nathan departed to his house. {16}David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. {17}So the elders of his house arose and went to him, to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. {18}Then on the seventh day it came to pass that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, “Indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm!” {19}When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” And they said, “He is dead.” {20}So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. {21}Then his servants said to him, “What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” {22}And he said, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ {23}But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

This story was a major revelation for me. First it shows how God might be behind something that we earnestly pray against so to speak. It also shows how we pray with uncertainty and how we might respond at the end.

Here David’s illegitimate son became ill. David didn’t know that God did it. This begs the question as to why would God kill a baby? Again, we must defer to faith at this time. Whether God actually made the child ill or not is a moot point because in the end God did not intervene to save the child’s life. David prayed for the child earnestly. However, the child died. David’s response was the major revelation for me. He accepted it and went on with his life. He made the point that he was uncertain as to what God would do. Perhaps God’s grace would prevail and perhaps not. David also makes an astounding statement while explaining his actions. He said that he would go to the child, but the child will not return to him. He was obviously referring to an after life where he would indeed see the child again. This begs the question of the sadness of death.

I think that the realization of uncertainty is a major part in our prayer life. We don’t know what will happen next. We don’t know what God will or will not do unless He does it. The only thing we can really do is hope, pray, and accept. We don’t always know why, but then again there is nothing that states we should know why.

True Faith – The Bigger Picture

Can you name one thing that has worked flawlessly all of the time? We may have a very dependable car, but still wear and tear takes its toll on it and sooner or later something fails. I find life to be the same way. There is no reason why we should expect life to go forward flawlessly. There will be ups and downs. There will be good times and bad times. However, life ultimately transcends our experiences on the earth. There is an after life that we should consider not necessarily for our sakes, but for others.

We try to reconcile the things that happen to others such as loved ones even after we have earnestly prayed. Our prayers seemed to have accomplished nothing. The person we prayed for died. The town we prayed for was still destroyed by the hurricane. Now those are very bad experiences, but perhaps they are meaningless or insignificant in the whole scope of things. If someone dies and goes on to be with the Lord then why should we be sorry for them?

Many times our reactions to things are based on our selves. A loved one dies and we are affected by it. A good friend is injured and we are scared because of it. Some people have turned their back on God because of what happened to someone else. Their feelings are damaged and they become bitter, which leads to corresponding activities.

True faith is to depend on God no matter what. True faith is to believe God no matter what.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV) -- {5}Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; {6}In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Pay special attention to the “lean not on your own understanding.” That part is very important because that is the part that we get hung up on. We don’t understand why so we blame God or become bitter. Don’t depend on your understanding. Instead just trust God with all that is within you!

Too often we incorporate our own understanding when we pray to God. We come up with how God is going to do it and when. We expect God to base His actions on our desires. We expect to somehow control God. We expect the outcome to occur based on our own understanding when actually there is much more involved.

The Bible tells us that the key to understanding is the fear of God. That means that we have to respect God and then we will understand. This understanding transcends the reasons why and moves to true faith in the Lord God to take care of business and to take care of His children. Basically we should simply trust God.

Know that God is doing what is necessary to carry out His will on the earth. Also know that not everything that happens on the earth is God’s will. Sometimes things happen that does not originate from God, but from evil. Why can’t God simply spare the innocent? Again don’t lean on your own understanding. The fact is that the innocent sometimes suffer and seemingly go unspared. We however cannot see the big picture. We cannot see the whole scope of things that have been, are, and will come. We are limited by our own understanding, which is why we should not depend on it.

Acceptance

One of the most difficult things we humans have to do is to accept things the way they are and read nothing else into it. Some people judge God based on current events. Some people judge God based on what happens with certain individuals. We shouldn’t do these things because we don’t have sufficient understanding. The best we can do is to accept it and move on.

To accept means to count it as the way it is and move on. Life is full of surprises. We don’t understand why things happen, but we should remain true to God when things do happen. It’s easy to praise God when things are going well. However, it becomes more difficult to praise God when things go awry. We immediately begin to seek answers especially to the question of why. Sometimes we cannot know why. I dare say that we probably don’t need to know why. However, we want an answer to everything knowing full well that there is no way we can know everything.

I have found that the better thing to do is to accept it and move on. What else can you do? You can’t change it? You could perhaps learn from it and even help prevent it from happening again. However, right now it has happened and unless you can go back in time then there is nothing you can do about. Don’t blame God. I believe that many times God warns us and many times we have to go through. So the only thing we can do is accept it and move on.

Now accepting it doesn’t mean you don’t inquire of God about it. Perhaps there is something that you can learn. Perhaps there was something that you were supposed to do. You could still ask God about it, but realize that He may or may not answer you according to; I suppose your need to know or his prerogative. This is hard to do sometimes, but probably the best answer many times.

Also understand that by accepting that I mean after the fact not before. If you see something coming then I can’t say the best course of action is simply to say that it’s inevitable and I’ll just accept what is going to happen. That is many times the lazy person’s way out. Remember what David did. He didn’t know the outcome regarding his son so he prayed, wept, and fasted. You don’t know the outcome until it happens so do what you can before it happens and trust God through it all.

What To Pray

Sometimes you hear people say, “If God is willing.” This again denotes our uncertainty in any matter. It also shows us that we cannot pray specifically and expect God to do it in an absolute sense. I mentioned earlier that we should pray with confidence or faith, but still we don’t know. Therefore, we should always pray, “May your will be done.” Consider the following model prayer given by Jesus to His disciples.

Matthew 6:9-13 (NKJV) -- {9}In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. {10}Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. {11}Give us this day our daily bread. {12}And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. {13}And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

1. Acknowledge God and who He is
2. Acknowledge the fulfillment of God’s will
3. Acknowledge God’s provision
4. Acknowledge God’s salvation and direction
5. Acknowledge God’s sovereignty

Consider also the following scripture.

Luke 18:1-8 (NKJV) -- {1}Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, {2}saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. {3}Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ {4}And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, {5}yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’ ” {6}Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. {7}And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? {8}I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?”

We are familiar with this parable and it is used to show how we should always pray. The emphasis is usually given to the woman’s persistence, but there are other lessons in this scripture that is much more evident. First consider that the woman wanted justice. Nothing in the narrative suggests that the woman was not harmed or affected. That fact that she sought justice implies that she had experienced a degree of pain and now wanted justice to prevail. Consider the following scripture.

Revelation 6:9-11 (NKJV) -- {9}When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held. {10}And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” {11}Then a white robe was given to each of them; and it was said to them that they should rest a little while longer, until both the number of their fellow servants and their brethren, who would be killed as they were, was completed.

1. These people were killed as a result of their faith in Jesus
2. They still held God as true and faithful
3. More would be killed
4. They would all be avenged (justice would prevail)

I am sure there were people praying for those that were killed before they died. There were probably people praying that they would be delivered and yet they still died. However, as we can see here that was not the end for them. It was evidently in God’s plan that they would die and more would suffer.

Pray according to Your Path

Our prayers should be consistent with the path that we are on. This means that we should recognize where God is leading us and pray accordingly. If God is leading you to a certain type of activity then you should pray for your needs and the like for that activity. For example, if God is directing you to feed the hungry then you should pray for food, a facility to feed from, etc. This is what you might call praying according to the will of God.

We should always be mindful of where we are going and where we have come from. This will help us to recognize God’s activity in our lives as we will learn how God speaks to us. We will learn how God interacts with us. Therefore wherever God is directing me is how I will direct my prayers. Of course I will pray for the leaders of the country, people who are oppressed and the like. Those are things that we should always do as we have no idea of the affect of our prayers and what we might be able to accomplish.

In any case, we should pray to God based on the path that we are on. If you are for example experiencing the grace of God on your job and you find yourself moving up the corporate ladder so to speak, then you should pray to God for wisdom or whatever, which is consistent with what is going on in your life. Why pray for something that you are not doing? Why pray for the path that you are not on? Learn to take inventory of your life so to speak. Where am I? Where am I going? Pray and ask God to help you in what you do (See Psalm 1). It’s what you do that will prosper and what you do should be consistent with God’s way for you.

Answer the following questions.

1. Where is God taking me?
2. What is happening in my life right now?
3. What passions do I have?
4. What opportunities have opened up for me?

Don’t Rely on the Situation To Guide Your Prayers

It could be a waste of time to simply look at a situation and determine how to pray. I gave the illustration of what my wife went through recently and how the situation indicated that something was wrong and yet the same symptoms could have indicated that everything was normal. I therefore had no idea what to pray. Therefore, I simply prayed to God about not knowing what to pray and how I have to trust Him. I confessed that I don’t know how to pray. It turned out that there was something wrong, but that the body did correct itself according to the way it was designed.

This means that we should be near-sighted in our prayers. We only look at the situation and base our prayer life on that. If things are bad then we pray for them to be better. What if they are not really bad and that is just your perception of things? What if you caused the problem and there is something that you can do to correct it and at the same time you are praying to God to correct it? Do you see? Don’t be near-sighted with your prayers.

Conclusion

We most of the times do not know what to pray for. We look at something and pray accordingly when in fact what we see is not really the way that it is. We need something more than just what our eyes can see. We need insight into what to pray and that insight comes from God. We have to come to terms with the fact that we live with uncertainty even with the most faithful. Having faith in God doesn’t mean that we know what will happen or even what God would do for that matter. We might pray for something and it never happens. That does not make God unfaithful; it simply demonstrates again how out of control we really are.

We should pray in faith and trust God no matter what. We shouldn’t depend on our own understanding because we can’t even begin to fathom the big picture. We don’t understand why things happen, but they do. We should accept it and move on with our lives and continue to trust and love God. Therefore the only things that you can really pray for are those things in your heart. What’s in your heart? Well that is the big question. What is in your heart? Are you on the path that God has for you or are you trying to mow your way through the forest making your own path.

Trust God and not your own understanding. You don’t know enough and you can’t see enough to rely on self. Trust God and remain faithful to him no matter what. Life on earth isn’t all that there is and there is a bigger picture that we simply cannot see. Continue praying and don’t give up. Amen.