<%@LANGUAGE="VBSCRIPT" CODEPAGE="65001"%> Reconciliation

RECONCILIATION

By William R. Cunningham
July 20, 2003

INTRODUCTION

This lesson deals with a lifestyle issues relevant to Christians. We are going to discuss the act of reconciliation. What do you do when someone offends you? What is the Christian thing to do when you are wronged? Well we are going to examine what God did for us so that we would have a model to live by.

We are going to take a look at the characteristics of love and forgiveness and how they impact the act of reconciliation. First we are going to look at the love that God has for us and that he forgave us of our sins (those who are saved). Then we are going to see how God's love and God's forgiveness compels us to love and to forgive as well and therefore to reconcile the differences that we have with others.

GOD'S PERSPECTIVE

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 (NKJV) Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Also review the following scriptures that pertain to God reconciling us to himself

Romans 5:1
Romans 5:10-11
Colossians 1:19-22

There are two things that stand out in regards to God's reconciliation.

God reconciled us to himself, i.e., it was his initiative alone.
We have the ministry of this reconciliation

God's Initiative For Reconciliation

We can clearly see in the scriptures above that God did the work and took the initiative to reconcile us to himself. If it were not for God's initiative to save us then we would all die and go to hell. Perhaps there would have still been a new heaven and a new earth but it wouldn't have been for us. However, God took it upon himself so to speak to bring us to a peaceful relationship with him.

Why did God do this? What could God possibly gain from us? Well there is nothing that we can bring to the table for God so to speak. There is nothing that we could offer him that he would need and that he would be deficient of if we didn't give it to him. In order to understand why God reconciled us to himself while we were still wallowing in our sin, we have to understand his love for us.

God's Love

It appears that God provided salvation for the whole world because he simply loves us. We can come up with a plethora of rules, regulations, procedures, and rituals, however we must remember that we are saved and justified first because of God's love for us.

God loves us and that love was demonstrated through Jesus Christ.

John 3:16 (NKJV) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Romans 5:8 (NKJV) But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

So it appears that God was motivated by love. Keep that thought at the back of your head because we will return to it. This means that all that God did for us was one-sided. He did it simply because he loves us and nothing else. He freely provided salvation for us and provided the message of reconciliation to us so that we would hopefully see the light and go towards it.

God's Forgiveness

We found that God loves us and that this love was the motivating component causing him to reconcile us to himself. However, as we saw in Romans 5:8, we were still sinners when God reached out to save us. To make matters worse, we weren't even reaching out or even acknowledging him since Paul said we were still sinners. So how could sinful man be reconciled to a totally righteous God? The answer is forgiveness.

Forgiveness and reconciliation is not the same thing.

Reconciliation means to bring at peace with, restoration to favor, to bring in agreement with.

Forgiveness means to pardon, release from guilt, release the resentment associated with an offense.

Forgiveness is actually an integral part of reconciliation because we cannot be at peace with God if our sins have not been forgiven and therefore removed from our account so to speak. So we must be pure and righteous in order to be with God because God and sin or unrighteousness cannot commune together. Therefore, our sins were forgiven when we were saved.

Review the following scriptures.

Ephesians 1:7
Colossians 1:14
Acts 26:17-18

Now we must keep in mind that God initiated forgiveness of our sins. We did not come to God begging for mercy. We were happy wallowing in our own unrighteousness being totally clueless of our impending doom. God, whom we offended, came to us with forgiveness.

God's Reconciliation

After we were saved and our sins were forgiven we became at peace with God. We could say that we were joined with him especially since we have inherited eternal life and will therefore be with in for eternity. The wonderful thing about this reconciliation is that it was totally on God. We had nothing to do with the salvation that we have through Jesus Christ. If it were left to us then we all would go to hell. However, we are now joined with the father and wait until our salvation has been fully manifested in eternity.

THE CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE PERSPECTIVE

The lifestyle of a Christian should therefore be one of forgiveness and reconciliation, which is fueled by love (unconditional love).

Love

God first loved us so we should likewise love others and reflect or show the love of God.

Matthew 22:37-40 (NKJV) Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."

Forgiveness

We are to forgive those that wrong us even if they don't apologize or anything like that. This is because the forgiveness that we extend, like God's, is not dependant on the other person. It is an act of pure grace. In other words, we simply forgive. Consider the following scriptures.

Matthew 18:21-22 (NKJV) Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Read also Matthew 18:15-20 since Peter's question was a result of that teaching. The traditional Jewish teaching at this time was that it was sufficient to forgive someone three times a day if they offend you. Peter was actually showing generosity when he asked if seven times is sufficient. However, Jesus replied that we should forgive seventy times seven times. That is not to say that we should keep count of how many times we forgiven someone. Jesus was simply making the point that we should always be willing to forgive someone.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NKJV) "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Consider also Matthew 18:23-35. That is a parable that Jesus gave concerning forgiveness and the Kingdom of God. It teaches us that when God forgives us that we should likewise forgive others. Not doing so would result in your offenses being counted back to you.

Forgiveness means to release the resentment that we have for someone because of an offense. In other words, we are to release any resentment (hard feelings, ill thoughts, etc.) for any person that offends us.

The word offend means the following:

To be guilty (Jeremiah 2:3)
To deal treacherously with (Psalms 73:15)
To act wickedly (Job 34:31)
To sin, err, miss the mark (Genesis 20:9, 2 Kings 18:14
To stumble, fall (James 2:10)
Cause to stumble (Matthew 5:29, 13:21)

So someone could be guilty of transgressing your personal boundary, dealt with you wickedly, etc. and as a Christian you should still forgive that person.

Please understand that forgiveness does not mean that justice is forfeited, though sometimes that is an option (See 1 Corinthians 6:7).

When Offenses Come

What should you do when someone offends you? What if someone lies on you or causes you emotional pain? What should you do if someone offends you in a great way? Forgive them! This doesn't mean that you lie down and let people walk over you. Your actions should be consistent with the lifestyle of a Christian. However, overall we should forgive the person.

In regards as to what we should do, Jesus provides a procedure that we can follow. See Matthew 18:15-17. The procedure, if you will, is summarized as follows.

Go to the person that offended you and let them know you were offended
If the person doesn't listen to you then take a witness
If the person still does not acknowledge the offense then take him to the church (assembly)
If he is still apathetic then he is to be as a heathen and tax collector.

The focus of this process is to restore the fellowship between the offended and the offender. We should also note the context of this teaching. Jesus applies this teaching to a sinning brother. If the person refuses to reconcile the differences then many believe that Jesus teaches that this person is to be cut off. Some even say that this sinning brother should be excommunicated from the church However, I don't agree with those conclusions and I will tell you why. First, the conflict is between to brethren. For example, it is as if two Christians who are part of a church congregation have a conflict between them. One person attempts to reconcile and the other just won't see eye to eye and the conflict remains. Now tell me why a person should be excommunicated from a church just because the conflict between he and another person has not been resolved? That truly doesn't seem reaonable does it. Note that the context is not sinning in general. The context is sinning against a brother.

We also have to consider how Jesus treated the heathens (gentiles) and tax collectors. After all, one of Jesus' disciples was a tax collector (Matthew). Jesus ate with tax collectors and he taught all that came to him. One thing is evident though. Jesus and the heathen did not have the same spirit or disposition. They were separate but Jesus reached out to them. A tax collector was considered by many to be a traitor to the Jewish people because they were hired by Rome to collect taxes from the people. The tax collector had a reputation of collecting more taxes then required by law. So Jesus did not excommunicate the heathen or tax collector so to speak. He always reached out to them. However, they were not together in fellowship.

In any case, regardless of how the person responds, we must always be willing to forgive and reach out to them. To think that Jesus teaches that we should excommunicate someone from the church merely because of a disagreement between two people doesn't seem very plausible or reasonable to me. Therefore, I believe that the reference is to the offended brother and not the church as a whole. The offended brother should reckon the offender as a heathen or tax collector. They are therefore unreconciled brothers whose relationship or fellowship with each other has been severed.

Reconcile

When offenses come then reconciliation should be the goal. If reconciliation does not come even when you have tried everything and then some, then you should just reckon the relationship as severed and that person is disassociated from you. To me this is a serious thing only because I have a disposition of togetherness and anything that separates people is not healthy.

Too often we merely seek restitution or justice when we should be more concerned about relationships. Justice is not always the most important thing when we consider the relationship of two people of the faith. It is more important to reconcile the differences and restore the relationship instead of merely seeking justice. I like what Paul says. Look at this.

1 Corinthians 6:7 (NKJV) Now therefore, it is already an utter failure for you that you go to law against one another. Why do you not rather accept wrong? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated?

We always want to be right! We always want to show the world that we were wronged and the other person was wrong for wronging us! We always want justice on our terms. So what if you were cheated? Is not God able to keep you? So what if you were wronged? Isn't God able to keep you? Being wronged or offended does not have to mean that retribution is the natural course of action. Sometimes there are misunderstanding or simply no other choice in the mind of the offender. It could have even been a case of the lesser evil.

Now I know that you might think it is easier said than done and you are correct. It is a lot easier to say to forgive than it is to actually do it. However, it can be done if you begin to practice doing it today. What relationships did you have that were severed by an offense and unforgiveness on your part? What grudges do you have with people from the past that offended you? Are you showing forth the love of God in the medium of forgiveness or are you seeking retribution at all costs?

Remember that God forgave you and He continues to forgive you of your sins. He does not hold your sins against you unless you are holding someone sins against them, i.e., you have unforgiveness in your heart. God reconciled us to himself and we should life the same way. We should naturally move to restore relationships instead of appeasing our own pride or ego with the fa ade of justice. Begin to reconcile those blown up relationships today. Apologize if you have to. Do something nice for your worse enemy. Show the love of God to that person that hurt you the most. If after these efforts they refuse reconciliation then you can walk away knowing that you have done God's will.

Show forth the love of God and the forgiveness that God has extended to you by loving all people, even those that don't love you and by forgiving people when they offend you. Reconcile the differences that you have with others so at the very least you don't have the enemies that you otherwise wouldn't. Be more like Jesus in your everyday lifestyle as a Christian.

Are you holding any grudges against anyone? If so then do what is necessary to eliminate the grudge. Go and be reconciled to that person. Does someone have a grudge against you? If so then approach that person and see if you can resolve the conflict. The Bible teaches us that we should forgive others and to be reconciled to those that have offended us. This is what God did for us so we should do the same, i.e., live the same